SWEAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE

I have weird dreams.

I can never remember them but I remember that I have them. I wake up several times almost every night (light sleeper when I'm not pissed as a fart) and I feel instantly alert and fully conscious. Then I recall what my brain was just doing and more often than not I'll audibly say "What the fuck was that?" or "Get out of my head!" or something along those lines anyway. Then five minutes later I'm back to sleep and have forgotten everything that just happened except for the fact that I just woke up. I'd keep a dream diary to find out what my messed up head is coming up with but I can't see a damn thing at that stage of the night, what with the dark and without my contacts, plus it'd probably just cause me to stay awake.

I said to Housemate last night that if I was to record the evening's boudoir audio that it'd be filled with loud farts, the sound of a fat dude rolling over in bed every few minutes and the tourette's style muttering of an insane person. When you played it back you'd have to turn the volume up really loud to catch the various soliloquies much like that scene from The Sixth Sense... Of course then you'd be deafened by the massive BLARRRRRT of one of my regular gas expulsions, but such is life.

What woman wouldn't want him, I hear you ask? A crazy one, obviously.

The sweat (rather than sweet) in the post title refers to the fact that I also sometimes wake up with my head absolutely soaked in sweat, I mean pools of the stuff on my pillow and my hair drenched, and yet everything else is squeaky clean. I dunno, maybe I have some kind of head fungal infection, or those dreams of being able to breathe underwater actually refer to Housemate trying to drown me. So kinda gross and something the internet needed to know (I realise I am communicating to a vast conglomerate of information that I like to think of as a physical entity, rather than individual human beings, I know no one reads this shit but me).

I need to replace the pillows rather often, or at least I should :-)

Also fucking MARVELLOUS is in my head every single FUCKING day.

Although I'm kinda getting used to it now... can't find the original on YouTube though.