SLACKER HIGH

Well no new updates for a while, like I said this was not gonna be a seriously regular gig.


Everything is cool, have been reading some pretty good books - Glen Cook's Chronicles of the Black Company (books 2 and 3), Terry Pratchett's Nation and just started Martin/Dozois/Abraham's Hunter's Run - looks like I can get to over 40 by the end of the year (Hunter's Run is #38) which is quite an achievement for me.

Seen some moofies: Tropic Thunder - hilarious, Starhip Troopers 3: Marauder - atrocious, Star Wars Clone Wars - meh, and watched in one sitting Kung-Fu Panda, Madagascar and Over The Hedge which actually just really showed how dull a moofie Madagascar is, I hope the sequel is far superior but am not holding my breath.

Had my housewarming last weekend which went well despite not really being able to use the outdoor area of our apartment because of the torrential rain, hail and cyclonic winds. Still plenty of fun with many a drink drunk. The image above is of moi and my friend Kerryn during a brief break in the weather - the balloons are Kerryn and Jane's idea of bringing the sunset with them.

Off to Perth next week for work - Monday night to Friday afternoon, which with the time difference means I get back to Melbourne at something like 9pm Friday - I have a pub crawl I am supposed to attend on the Saturday but flying always takes it out of me so I might not be able to attend... Ha! Who am I kidding? I'll be there with bells on!

Christmas is looming, must think of some gifts to foist onto the family...

Oh and I had planned a post about how I never get angry except over petty things - house mate and a friend recently commented about how I am pretty happy kind of guy (including a very happy drunk) and don't get angry or upset about things, that is until I released my furious anger in a tirade about neighbours and their bins and the evil passengers that pollute trams... ahem... Like I said, planned a post, but I'm lazy so it may never turn up.

MILD BOOK REVIEWS

Although I love films and I love reading, I really don't like reviewing them at all - I either like 'em or I don't with the occasional in between. So with that in mind, here are a few mini reviews of recent books I've read:

Joel Shepherd - Cassandra Kressnov Trilogy (Crossover/Breakaway/Killswitch) - a great sci-fi lite series about a cyborg/android set on the world of Callay. Humanity has expanded to the stars however the breakaway League is more inclined to explore technological advancement with fewer checks and measures than their Federation brethren - they are so impressed with what they can do they don't necessarily think about what they should do. As a result Cassandra Kressnov has been created - the most highly advanced hunter-killer cyborg of all time, except now she's gone rogue and has decided that civilian life is for her, civilian life amongst the tech-savvy Callay capital of Tanusha, a Federation planet.

Basically this trilogy covers Sandy's struggle to become "normal" and accepted within a society that thinks of her as a monster. The books cover some great political and philosophical ground with a tech-noir bent and measures of anti-racism and anti-discrimination - based on just about anything - thrown into the mix. A fun and fast read where the pace hardly ever lets up, I greatly enjoyed every book - Joel Shepherd is an Aussie author to look out for. Very cool covers on the US versions from Pyr which are what I have.

John Scalzi - Old Man's War / The Ghost Brigades / The Last Colony - a great little trilogy of novels where Scalzi explores themes of Humanity, our place in the Universe and a few other bits and pieces, all against a Starship Troopers-esque backdrop of alien arse kicking and violent Human expansion and colonisation. A very fun trilogy with some fascinating takes on aliens and just how virulent the human race could be once it reaches the stars. I greatly enjoyed this series and look forward to reading the rest of his books either in this universe or out.

Ian C Esslemont - Return of the Crimson Guard - Esslemont's second foray into the Malazan world shows just how far he has come as a writer since the so-so Night of Knives. Quite an enjoyable read and fits in very well with Erikson's existing Malazan novels (this occurs, for the most part, somewhere between Reaper's Gale and Toll the Hounds) although curiously the story of the titular Crimson Guard themselves was probably the weakest storyline of the whole book! It was a little confusing at first as he has many plot threads starting in the first 100 pages or so but he quickly manages to weave together culminating in the largest battles yet depicted in the Malazan universe. I especially loved Nait's storyline and antics and the novel also features an absolutely HUGE event in the Malazan world so MUST be read by those who are enjoying Erikson's books.

CURRENT "TO READ" PILE

Just a list to remind me to stop watching TV, stop going to the pub, and get on that couch and read Boy, READ! In no particular order as I decide on a whim when I finish each book which one to read next. (Number) indicates an omnibus edition or series.

Here are the ones actually on my shelf:

1. Kevin J Anderson - The Ashes of Worlds (just started this morning)
2. Terry Pratchett - Nation
3. Lynne Truss - Eats, Shoots & Leaves
4. John Lindqvist - Let The Right One In
5. Mervyn Peake - The Gormenghast Trilogy (3)
6. Hugh Cook - Chronicles of an Age of Darkness (9 - gotta find #10)
7. Glen Cook - First Chronicles of the Black Company (2 - already read book 1)
8. John Scalzi - The Ghost Brigades & The Last Colony (2)
9. Jeff Lindsay - Dexter In The Dark
10. Ian Cameron Esslemont - Return of the Crimson Guard
11. Robin Hobb - Shaman's Crossing (need to buy the 2 sequels first)
12. Stephen King - The Mist (and other short stories)
13. China Mieville - Perdido Street Station
14. Fritz Leiber - Ill Met in Lankhmar
15. Brandon Sanderson - Mistborn (need to buy the 2 sequels first)
16. Rudyard Kipling - The Complete Jungle Book
17. Herman Melville - Moby Dick
18. Gene Wolfe - Severian of the Guild (4)
19. Daniel Abraham - The Long Price (2)
20. Greg Keyes - Kingdoms of Thorn and Bone (4)
21. Michael Moorcock - Various (if I ever get 'round to them)
22. David Gunn - Death's Head
23. Martin/Dozois/Abraham - Hunter's Run

So yeah, I guess that proves I'm sort of a compulsive book buyer who really should actually read more. Some of those I've had forever (Moorcock, Leiber, Hobb) and the list just kinda proves that I need to join a library and try and save my pennies... Nah, bugger that!

I've also got a list of books I still want to buy that is actually longer than that above... Woo hoo! :)

BOOK PR0N

So some books that I ordered last week from Book Depository and ABE Books arrived today - woo hoo!

First up is the final installment in Kevin J Anderson's Saga of Seven Suns - The Ashes of Worlds. I've quite enjoyed this series so far, probably because it is Sci-Fi Lite and more Space Opera than anything else, hard sci-fi makes my brain hurt a little. I didn't enjoy the previous novel so much but I have been told that it ends quite satisfactorily and I'm certainly not going to not read the seventh book after reading the first six!

Next up are the two sequels to John Scalzi's Old Man's War which I really enjoyed quite a bit - again sci-fi lite with a real feeling of deja-vu in that I swear these books were inspired by Heinlein's Starship Troopers (which is a much better book than the moofies would have you believe) and are a very enjoyable and easy read.

And after those we have Terry Pratchett's Nation, his first non-Discworld novel in quite a few years. It's quite sad that Terry has a form of Alzheimers that may mean his regular yearly and even six monthly novel production may slow down dramatically but I've heard this novelis really quite something, so looking forward to it quite a bit.











Next up is Lynne Truss' Eats, Shoots & Leaves, a book about punctuation use and rules in written English and how it can affect what a sentence means. I'm a bit of a spelling and punctuation Nazi (thanks Dad) so to make sure I'm always correct I thought Id give this a go. Been meaning to read it for years to be honest.

Second to last is John Ajvide Lindqvist's Let The Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in) is a Swedish vampire horror novel(translated to English of course). I recently saw the film of this at the Melbourne International Film Festival and when I found out it was based on a book I knew I just had to get it. I'm not a massive fan of vampire movies, books or anything really, but I loved this film and suspect I'll enjoy the book.

Last up is Hugh Cook's fourth book in the classic Chronicles of an Age of Darkness series, The Walrus and the Warwolf - I really enjoyed this series when I read it in my early teens and recently bought all of the books bar this one and the last one. So I'm yet to get the last one (which I think has only been self-published and was never released) and plan on giving these a rip through maybe sometime in the new year.

Now the big question is - what do I read first? I should finish Killswitch tonight... Maybe Ashes of Worlds, or possibly The Ghost Brigades... Decisions, decisions...

I'll maybe do another post with all the other books on my "to read" shelf - it's getting quite packed, I'll need to concentrate and read more!

MY HOBBY #2 - WATCHING THE TUBE

So basically what my hobbies are revealing (or at least confirming) is that I am a total bum and an absolute couch potato - in fact most of the joy in my life comes from sitting or lying on a couch. One said joy is being mesmerised, disgusted and moved by "my stories" (as Nanna Mac calls them) on the television.

I guess I'll just list a few of my favourite shows throughout the years and maybe a couple of anecdotes that will in the end mean absolutely nothing to anyone but me, but then isn't that the point of 90% of blogs?

Favourite Show Ever - The West Wing - easily the greatest television show ever created by Man. I was hooked from the beginning despite Channel 9 in Australia showing it at God awful hours which changed from week to week - I think the earliest it ever started was at 10:30pm the latest not at all! I purchased a bunch of the DVDs but was also gifted with a complete box set of all 7 seasons by my little Bro' for my 30th which I immediately used to re-watch the entire series from start to finish for about a month or two earlier this year. With such intelligent and funny writing I still pick up extra bits and pieces every time I re-watch it. Amazingly well acted with such a feeling of hope that maybe all politics doesn't need to be dirty - of course they never actually achieved anything in the show, but that doesn't matter does it? Favourite episode would have to be the final of season 2 with the death of a much loved character and President Josiah Bartlett deciding on whether to run for a second term - the end scene is just so powerful and is a stunning achievement in television.

Honourable Mentions: E.R., NCIS, Ugly Betty, Battlestar Galactica (new), Metal Mickey, Astro Boy, Robotech, Family Ties, Coupling, House.


Most Memorable Moment - E.R. - Death of Dr. Greene - well actually the episode where we first learn that he died and not the next episode where we see him carking it. It was the scene where Noah Whyle's character is reading out a letter from Greene's wife Elizabeth in that central area in the E.R. and we get to see all the regular character's reactions. Great TV and I don't mind saying I cried like a baby. I haven't watched the last 3 or 4 seasons of E.R., I dunno its maybe lost its charm for me, but everything before that I saw religiously.

Honourable Mentions: Battlestar Galactica - Adama being shot - both times!, The West Wing - learning of Leo's death and Josh's reaction to it (another tear jerker that gets me every time), Family Ties - when Alex is high on speed, Coupling - whole Melty Man episode, Buffy - Hush episode.

You know what? I'll leave it at that for the moment. I could name dozens of shows that I like and watch, but maybe I'll just do mini-posts about them in the future, if I could even be bothered. I had high hopes for this post when I started it but now I'm bored and wanna go watch some more West Wing, ciao!

MY HOBBY #1 - READING

I'm a reader. There I said it. Not a particularly good or well-read one, but a reader I am nonetheless.

I read more than some and less than others. I would say I'm a slow and inconsistent reader as it can take me 3 weeks to read a 350 page novel or a weekend to read a 900 page novel. I guess it just depends on how interested I am in the novel and also the social pressures that being a beer drinker puts on me during that particular time.

And like some, I like to buy my books and keep hold of them. Until recently the majority of books went into piles in the bottom of my cupboard due to the fact of not having many bookshelves, however this has recently been (mostly) rectified with a move of house and thanks to a meme found over at Speculative Horizons I thought I might post up a few pictures of my wonderful collection of fantasy and sci-fi novels.

So to the left we have a pic of the whole shebang - not a huge collection but I love it all the same. I was worried about the heater/air-con unit above the bookcases having a detrimental effect on the books but it doesn't seem to have had any effects during the heat blasting through winter.

I order the books pretty randomly although they are sorted into series' by author and of course publishing or possibly reading order within that.

There are a few missing (and I'll note where) due to borrowing by friends or my bro'. Also there are more on an old bookshelf in my room that aren't really my favourites but I have kept a hold of just for the hell of it. Still to decide if I'll keep them or send them off to the charity shop.

Those extra shelves you can see at the bottom left of screen were not needed and the price of them alone will buy me a whole new bookshelf to replace the old one in my room. So, onto the books!

(no linking, you can Google or Wikipedia stuff on your own if you are so inclined)

The top shelf has my two favourite series': George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire and Steven Erikson's Malazan Book of the Fallen. The first Malazan book is on loan to a mate who won't appreciate it.

Next shelf we have the lovely Robin Hobb novels all of which I've liked, then the Joe Abercrombie series The First Law - brilliant series that I have had several friends read and thank me for recommending. Then Anderson's Saga of Seven Suns, must grab the last book although I think he's lost his way in the previous two novels of the series, but am happy to finish it.

Next is the Terry Pratchett shelf which is by no means complete - something I really must rectify as I absolutely adore all of his work.
Must ask Jack what he thought of Good Omens and make him return it to me...

Next shelf is a bit of a mixed bag (again with a few missing). Really liked the Bakker series, and at the top left are two books in Hugh Cook's Chronicles of an Age of Darkness - I read that series as a teenager and recently re-bought them all recently (bar the final book) and plan on re-reading them soon - at the moment this shelf is far more packed since taking this photo - I just can't stop buying books!

Next up we have what could be termed the "kids" shelf. John Marsden's Tomorrow series was just brilliant although I think he was flogging a dead horse with the Ellie Chronicles. I was totally against Harry Potter when he first became popular but then got sucked in and have read the series twice now - they're enjoyable and I am less of a reading snob these days - if that can be said of any person that reads almost exclusively in the fantasy genre.

Next to those are Guy Gavriel Kay's Fionovar Tapestry which I really didn't enjoy that much at all.

Bottom shelf of bookcase number 1 has some favourite Tad Williams with his Memory, Sorrow and Thorn trilogy plus the Death Gate Cycle by Weis and Hickman. I've yet to read some of those Moorcock books on the far right that I picked up on the cheap about 12 years ago, I liked the thin ones in the middle.

I wasn't a fan of Williams' Otherland series but maybe I need to give it another go someday...





On to bookcase number 2 and the top shelf has Jordan's Wheel of Time all in Tor hardcover (except New Spring) plus Wurts and Feist's fantastic Empire Trilogy - my favourite of Feist's.

Next shelf is completely Feist where I need to grab a few of the first novels in hardcover to complete the collection.

Shelf 3 is mostly my "to read" shelf. I've read the fantastic Richard Morgan novels (love Takeshi Kovacs trilogy) and most of those on the right were enjoyable, especially Mary Gentle's Grunts!


The next two shelves feature some of my favourite classics of the genre - the required Tolkien (enjoyed but don't love), Eddings (he was a gun in the 80s and 90s and the Belgariad began my affair with fantasy), Gary Gygax (I re-read these Gord the Rogue novels every few years), McCaffrey's Pern series (truly a classic though have not read the newer ones in the last few years), and a mixed bag of Terry Brooks (who I can take or leave although the Elfstones of Shannara is still one of my most favourite books ever).


And last but not least the Sara Douglass shelf. There are a few books missing here as my brother has nicked them, but I really liked her Axis and Wayfarer Redemption trilogies. I think her best work is The Crucible quartet (not least because I am thanked along with others in The Wounded Hawk for helping out on her web site message board). I was not a fan of the Troy Game and have yet to try Darkglass Mountain - too many others to read before that!




So there you have it, about 90% of my collection. I used to own many, many more but during the mid-90s I had a bit of a clean out and traded in a bunch, I've also obviously read many more than what features here although those tended to be early days when I still bothered going to libraries. I like owning the books I read - good or bad - and ever since I found The Book Depository I've been buying more and more.

What I really need to do though is have a consistent reading habit. At the moment I mostly read on the tram to and from work and in front of the TV, all of which means I can get very distracted. What I need is a good reading chair with a side table for my beer and crisps that doesn't have a view of anything to distract me. Perhaps the next place I move to can have a spare room dedicated to this and other leisurely pursuits? We shall see...

Might do a post soon on my to read list - the novels that I plan to add to the collection and those I already bought.

SWEAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE

I have weird dreams.

I can never remember them but I remember that I have them. I wake up several times almost every night (light sleeper when I'm not pissed as a fart) and I feel instantly alert and fully conscious. Then I recall what my brain was just doing and more often than not I'll audibly say "What the fuck was that?" or "Get out of my head!" or something along those lines anyway. Then five minutes later I'm back to sleep and have forgotten everything that just happened except for the fact that I just woke up. I'd keep a dream diary to find out what my messed up head is coming up with but I can't see a damn thing at that stage of the night, what with the dark and without my contacts, plus it'd probably just cause me to stay awake.

I said to Housemate last night that if I was to record the evening's boudoir audio that it'd be filled with loud farts, the sound of a fat dude rolling over in bed every few minutes and the tourette's style muttering of an insane person. When you played it back you'd have to turn the volume up really loud to catch the various soliloquies much like that scene from The Sixth Sense... Of course then you'd be deafened by the massive BLARRRRRT of one of my regular gas expulsions, but such is life.

What woman wouldn't want him, I hear you ask? A crazy one, obviously.

The sweat (rather than sweet) in the post title refers to the fact that I also sometimes wake up with my head absolutely soaked in sweat, I mean pools of the stuff on my pillow and my hair drenched, and yet everything else is squeaky clean. I dunno, maybe I have some kind of head fungal infection, or those dreams of being able to breathe underwater actually refer to Housemate trying to drown me. So kinda gross and something the internet needed to know (I realise I am communicating to a vast conglomerate of information that I like to think of as a physical entity, rather than individual human beings, I know no one reads this shit but me).

I need to replace the pillows rather often, or at least I should :-)

Also fucking MARVELLOUS is in my head every single FUCKING day.

Although I'm kinda getting used to it now... can't find the original on YouTube though.

I'M A CHEATER

For some reason whilst watching the Hamish & Andy episode of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader last night, a memory flashed through my head from Primary School days.

I figure it was when the teacher got bored that they would decide that we'd play a game called "Heads Down Thumbs Up" - an absolutely genius game where you lay your head on your desk and scrunch your eyes shut, stick your thumbs up and then a group of 3 or so people would go around the room and squeeze someone's thumbs. Once done those squeezees would have to guess the squeezers and if they guessed correctly they became a squeezer... Like I said, genius!

Only I would always cheat... I'd lay my forehead on the edge of the desk, pretend to close my eyes, and then watch the shoes of the squeezers as they travelled around the room, if they squeezed my thumb it was easy to figure out who had performed said action based on their penchant for Mr Men socks or bright buckles. For some reason the teachers never said anything even though I was sure they could tell I wasn't putting my head on the table properly, maybe they thought it was 'cause of the huge coke bottle glasses I was sporting at that tender age.

The things we remember are so weird sometimes...

(yes I am aware that is a Cheetah, not a Cheater, I was being facetious or ironic or just plain dumb)

TOLL THE HOUNDS

I was introduced to the Tales of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series by my friend Betty at the start of 2007. That year I powered through the first 7 novels almost all in a row and loved every second of it - here was a complex and stunningly realised storyline filled with fascinating characters and situations; Steven Erikson quickly became one of my favourite authors ever.

So I just finished Toll the Hounds, the 8th novel in the 10 book series and it did not fail to deliver one iota. I'm not really a person who likes to "review" moofies or books or anything really - if I like it I'll tell you and then you can make up your own mind. But I just have to say here that this man really knows how to write humour and sadness and wrap it all together in a compelling and beautiful story. I am constantly amazed at the complexity of the plots and the deftness that he switches between story lines within not only a novel but in the series as a whole.

While reading the Malazan novels I am always asking myself if he had actually planned all that I have been reading from the very beginning, maybe not every single detail, but certainly the general gist of each of the major stories and how they interact and intertwine around each other. If you're a fan of Fantasy or Science Fiction then you just have to read this series - although the first novel, Gardens of the Moon, can actually be quite hard to get into as it starts half way through a war and you just have no idea about anything that is going on, but persevere and I can guarantee that you won't be disappointed. Even if you're not a fan of Fantasy as a genre, try and give this series a go.

The other great thing about Erikson is that he has been releasing a book each year, unlike certain other authors, he can stick to his vision and write a fascinating and complex story and keep it all together and still release books on a regular basis. George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series is probably on the same complexity scale but bugger me doesn't he take a while to write his books! But I suppose you can't expect all authors to have the same rate of output and I prefer to wait for GRRM so long as he releases quality product.

I loved this book and its stunning conclusion that sets up the grand finale of the final two volumes - bring on Dust of Dreams!

I CAN'T GET ADSL AT HOME :-(

Ok, I've calmed down now and I can type with fewer mashings at the keyboard with my bloody fists.

In Summary: I admit defeat and am researching wireless internet companies.

In not so Summary but not so long that it will make me angry again: EDIT: although turns out it did:

1. I moved in to a shiny apartment about 2 or 3 years old in the middle of busy Brunswick in Melbourne, an inner-north city Suburb (15-25 minute tram ride into city depending on traffic)
2. There are phone points in both bedrooms and the kitchen
3. Signed up with Telstra to get a phone number which will then get disconnected so I can get Naked DSL with iiNet - NOTE: ALWAYS test the phone line once Telstra says it has been connected, probably would have saved some hassles.
4. Signed up with iiNet, could not get service working, they sent out a Vision Stream technician.
5. Technician was really cool and pointed out to me that only one pair of phone lines (one cable) was coming into the building from the street. Temporarily nicked one and proved that cabling up to apartment was fine - just no cables coming in from street
6. iiNet had Telstra technician come out and he showed me the cables curled up in a roll in the hole in the street about 10 metres from the MDF in the garage of the building - he could not bring the cable through for me and said it would be a big job
7. Spoke with real estate agent (who has been FANTASTIC throughout the whole ordeal - quite bonkable as well, but that's beside the point (isn't it always?)) who spoke with owner of apartment who also happens to be guy that built the building and builds lots of buildings and ordinarily has great relationship with Telstra 'cause he gives them lots of work
8. I go on holidays for a month but still check in with estate agent, still no luck though owner says he PAID Telstra to put in 30 lines (15 cables) when the building was built and was not aware that only one pair had been pulled through
9. Telstra eventually tells landlord that if I apply for a new phone line to be installed, Telstra will charge me $300 for it
10. Landlord agrees to this and says he will re-imburse me by lowering rent for a month by that amount
11. Two days ago I call Telstra to organise phone line to be installed, I am UNDENIABLY CLEAR about what needs to happen, that a technician is needed and he needs to pull cables in from the street - they tell me all is fine and to be home between 8am and 12pm today (Thursday)
12. Come 10:30 today I am getting worried and not a little suspicious, so I call up Telstra to check that they do actually have someone coming out today - erm, sorry sir, there is no record of that... WTF!!!???!!! They put me through to a guy who will organise a site visit by a technician as YESTERDAY it was "discovered" that I would need a technician (obviously they didn't listen to me the first time) and they neglected to tell me that the appointment had been cancelled
13. I fume and swear and get pissed off but realise I am getting pissed off at people who have no control over what has happened and are trying to fix it, I agree to a technician coming out next Tuesday
14. I decide to call Telstra after the 30 minute call earlier to complain because God damn it I TOLD them what needed to happen - I was just repeating what THEIR technician told me! But more importantly, they never contacted me about the cancelled appointment and I have wasted half a day of leave that I really did not want to waste.
15. I get through to complaints and rather tersely but eloquently explain the problem - again I realise this guy is not at fault, he's just taking my complaint down and trying to sort out the issue, so I am civil but he knows I'm frustrated - trust me, I may raise my voice a little but I do not yell at these people, in the end shit happens and they are just doing their job (some of them not doing it very well)
16. He "officially" organises for a Telstra technician to come out on Tuesday to install the line, the way he's talking he knows what he's doing and he even says he has worked there for many years so understands the situation
17. Before hanging up, just in case, I ask him to state to me clearly on the phone that the technician on Tuesday will be pulling the cable in from the street, connecting it to the MDF and getting me a frickin' phone line... "Oh no sir, the technician is not qualified to do that, you'd have to talk to our Contract Liaison Area, here's their number and here's your order number"
18. "Ah, Ok. That's cool, glad I asked - just in case, these guys will still just charge me the $300 to have the line installed yes?"
19. "Oh no sir, it could cost up to thousands to bring the cable through and they may need to add new external cabling or even an MDF to the building, actually you should probably have the owner of the building contact them instead."
20. At this point I almost chuck a fit 'cause I've been telling this guy my sob story as a RENTER for the last 30 minutes and also how the owner already contacted Telstra and they said all I needed to do was yadda yadda yadda...
21. He says sorry mate but there's nothing I can do, you'll just have to give the details to the owner and hope for the best. I admit he was friendly and sympathetic and actually knew what he was doing, but man he heard some muttering on the end of the line then. I thanked him, and hung up.
22. So I've given the details to the real estate agent who will pass them on to the owner
23. I then sat back and cried for a minute or two, curled up in a ball and sucked my thumb
24. Tonight I am knocking on neighbours' doors and asking them if they have tried getting lines installed before.
25. I called iiNet and asked for cancellation and refund, at first they were not going to refund the initial $453 install, setup, modem and first month's fees but I asked to talk to a supervisor and we negotiated that I would get a refund for everything except initial setup cost ($79.95) and whatever the difference is to make up the $150 early disconnection fee from the 24 month contract - so essentially $150 is down the drain. I'm not happy but I'll accept it as iiNet have been ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC throughout this whole process with great staff on the phone and in person and I told them that in their feedback survey thing - I recommend them to ANYONE who is looking for a company with exemplary customer service.
26. So now I start looking for wireless internet providers and give up on the dream of lightning fast download speeds
    

You know the thing that still makes me wonder is the fact that there are 5 other apartments in this building with no phone lines and they've apparently never tried to get them connected... God I'd laugh if the apartment that does have a line connected isn't using theirs...

And how hard can it be to pull a cable through? There's already one physically there so couldn't they do the old disconnect original cable, attach a string to it, pull it back into the street and then pull the whole lot through? Why didn't someone do that THE FIRST FUCKING TIME!!!???

God I need some beer...